i know you're tortured within

I like a guy!

This ..honestly sucks.

I’m sure that my sexuality isn’t a choice, because if it were, there’s no way in hell I’d still be attracted to men. The guy I like is.. strange to say the least. Not necessarily in a negative way, but he has his quirks.

I feel so weird for liking somebody again after I literally just left my previous relationship a MONTH AGO. It could be worse though, it’s not like I’m actually dating him.

I’m almost certain he's interested in me. But it’s kind of difficult to tell. I don’t want to make a move yet because I feel like it’s too soon. I’ve only known the guy for around a month. I have no idea if he’s even a bad person or not.

That’s one of my biggest fears, you know? Falling in love with somebody just to slowly figure out they aren’t exactly who they pose themself as. It’s happened to me before, and I don’t want it to happen again.

While I know I should wait, there’s still that part of me that really wants to be his girlfriend. There’s so much I like about him.

He has the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen. His jawline is perfect. I’m obsessed with his hair. He doesn’t think he’s attractive, but there’s so much about him and his appearance that I can’t help but get lost in. I don’t know if I have a type, but if I do, he fits it perfectly. I need this boy so bad. I crave him and his touch.

He’s really funny as well, and we share a lot of the same humor. He understands most of the silly little niche references I make, and vice versa.

I want to ask him out but I have no idea how I should. What do people even say? Like..

“Hey, I like you a lot and want to be your girlfriend even though we’ve known each other for less than 30 days.”

It’s so embarrassing. I don’t know how I should go about things. I hope things work out and he ends up asking ME, or I get some sort of sign that things won’t work out anyway.

I really hope things work out, though. I truly admire him.

(Update: August 7th, 2025) Hi, little update... He doesn't like me back! He says he simply views me as a close friend. I'm honestly fine with that. I'm okay with remaining friends with him but if things get too painful for me I might just have to leave. I don't know how things will play out. I'll definitely update this if things turn out fine or if they go south.