i know you're tortured within

You guys have no idea how good I feel right now. My site is finally completely revamped and I’ve been procrastinating on this for months. MONTHS! I was tired of opening Notepad++ just to leave it open for 2 hours and not write a single line of code. Something clicked inside of me and I was finally able to organize something that I am proud of.

To a lot of people, this small little space may just be another website upon millions of others, but to me, this is my home. Writing that out feels extremely cheesy, but it’s the truth. I made this website back in May of this year because I felt I needed to express myself more. I wanted to branch out and try something new, try to discover what felt right. It didn’t take long for me to realize I really, truly love this space I’ve created for myself.

Though, I didn’t just make it for myself, of course. While I was originally coding my site, I was thinking about you, the person reading this. I wanted my site to be something creative and magnificent that people would see and maybe be inspired by. I wasn’t the best at coding back then, and I am not at all the best right now, but I was able to make something that I was proud of and that other people enjoyed. Because of this, I kept my previous layout for so long. I wanted to keep the theme that other people liked the most.

And while I am glad I was able to make something that so many other people enjoyed, it started to get a little boring. I made my website, showed it off to people, so what now? I felt like I was at a standstill.

The old layouts I had were representative of the old me. Inevitably, life dies out. People change. And so did I. The last site theme I had was honestly pretty impressive for someone with little to no prior coding experience. I try to stay humble, but that layout was really some of my best work. Still, it isn’t me. I’m not the same person I was when I made it. And because of that, this complete revamp was necessary.

The theme you see now on my site is representative of me in the present. Is it subject to change? Absolutely. Will I regain motivation to come up with a new theme once I get tired of this one? Highly unlikely. But it’s here now, so I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Making this website was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I encourage you to make one of your own if you haven’t already. I won’t be disclosing exactly how old I am, but I’m young enough to say I’ve grown up in a world where everything is online. Most social media platforms have been around for longer than I’ve been alive. I do think that there can be perks to using social media, but for the most part, it’s not very good for you. That is why I made this website. To take a break from the attention-grabbing social media sites and breathe. To be able to express myself without being held captive by likes, views, and comments. To be ‘me’ without caring about an algorithm. This website is my love letter to the old Internet, a version of the Internet that was robbed from me.

Regardless of if you’ve been a visitor of this site since its creation or this is your first time here, thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for being a part of it. I’m so happy to have been able to have a platform where I can share my thoughts with you all.

- Much love, Soph of soph.gay