my saccharine sweetheart
august 14, 2025 | poem
brain and heart are miles apart
thoughts about you swing like a pendulum
one moment your words are sweet like honey,
the next, saccharine.
messages exchanged between us were something exclusive, sacred
but the oath has been broken
and so has my beating heart.
though you were never mine to keep,
and the oath was never made,
existing only between the confines of my wild imagination,
part of me wanted to believe in you.
in us.
i say i love you,
and you say it back,
but i love you like my favorite song
and you love me like a cigarette.
so throw me to the ashtray
as i replay your tune over and over again.
finding infinite joy in your melody
while the temporary bliss of my cancer stick wears out
second life
january 17, 2026 | song
buried 6 feet under
a stormy night, hear the thunder
the carcass of a rabbit
saw the shovel so i grabbed it
didn’t mean to kill it
i don’t feel bad, just kinda feel sick
i don’t know what to do
if i lose myself, will i lose you, too?
i’m so tired of being in this body
take these feelings from me
turn them into nothing
girls online
august 25, 2025 | song
i’m comparing myself to the figures dancing in my screen
and then i question my low self esteem
i’m not unattractive i just think i’m plain
so ill starve myself
and ignore the pain
tried to ignore it
but i can’t shake this feeling
if i’m not perfect
my mind goes on reeling
green eyes glowing
with jealousy
i’m not believing
what youre telling me
how could you say i’m gorgeous
when i dont look like them
how could you say i look nice
when i dont look like
the girls online
