i know you're tortured within

my life is genuinely pathetic

i keep saying i dont like being vulnerable on here but ive just stopped caring less and less

im a mess, mentally and physically

i have 2 or 3 real friends outside of the internet

i spend all day rotting at my computer

when im not deteriorating at my desk i am sleeping

i know its summer and i have all the time in the world but i still feel like im not making any use of it

i do a lot of creative things to pass the time

but that's not enough

i need to socialize

it feels like all of my friends are too busy to talk to me

i cant even visit any of them, the ones i do actually know in real life

i am a lazy bum

i am worthless

i contribute nothing to society

i just sit there and acknowledge my problems without doing anything about them

its like im addicted to the pain

my favorite people are already struggling with a lot and i feel like shit for always wanting to talk to them

but my life has no structure

part of me desperately wants to go back to school so i can feel a sense of consistency for once

but i know ill be overwhelmed and burnt out quickly

nothing i do works

im about to give up

on all of it